Tuesday, October 20, 2009


It’s good to be back. I have been very busy writing for other people and haven’t taken the time lately to write for myself. Time to jump back in . . .

Today I took my daughter to a doctor appointment and while sitting in the waiting room I read an interesting article in the WALL STREET JOURNAL, October 20, 2009. The title was “Lies, Damned Lies and Lies to Tell Your Spouse.”

The article was written by Elizabeth Bernstein and begins, “Would I lie to you? It depends. Are we married?” She goes on to mention she is not talking about big lies but rather the little lies serving as a “social salve” and “help a relationship run smoothly.” She goes on to quote one psychologist , Ed Dunkelblau, director of the Institute for Emotionally Intelligent Learning. He said, “If you don’t fib, you don’t live.”

Wow! At first glance I would say of course I wouldn’t “fib to live” but after further thought I’ve had to consider the times in relationships where I chose to NOT say what I really thought. Sometimes we are asked, “How do I look in this?” or “What do you think of so and so?” Can I say, can we say we have always answered these and many more similar questions with complete honesty?

I strive to be a man of integrity in everything I do and say. It’s not always easy. There are temptations but God gives me strength. Am I perfect? No, and in the relational area the struggle is found. It’s not just marriage, it is all relationships.

What is the answer to this? Be brutally and perfectly honest in all situations no matter what the consequence? Where do diplomacy, tact and discernment fit in to the equation?
I have no easy answer for this. The article has really made me aware of the “fibbing to live” philosophy.

I’m going to start by praying for more wisdom when these situations arise. I will trust God who sees the big picture and perfectly knows what is best for us. When I’m wrong I know I will be hearing from Him.

What do you think?